Manners

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” – Emily Post

Ghanaians are known for being very friendly and helpful. Generally speaking, I have found this to be mostly true. Specifically if I have ever been lost or looking for something. However, basic manners seem to be an area of weakness for some of the people I have interacted with. Perhaps it is just a clash of cultures, but this stuff rubs me the wrong way. For example….

When I walk to town, I am shouted at. “Obruni! Obruni!” In the states, if I saw a black person in an all-white neighborhood, would I call out, “Black man! Black man!” I think not.

Men call women fat to their face. I know it’s more culturally acceptable to be a larger woman here, but I don’t care what country you live in, publically calling someone out on their weight just seems wrong.

Today, I addressed a question to two Ghanaian women in the staff room. They each looked at me, began laughing, and spoke to each other in their native language, Twi, as if I wasn’t even there. Um, excuse me, but didn’t I just ask a question? A man sitting nearby helped me out by prompting them to acknowledge my question. Even better, one of these women is my roommate.

In the middle of a one-on-one conversation, one of the vice-principals at my college dug deep into her nose while speaking to me. Really? I understand 3-year old children doing it, but a grown woman?

Again, I’m not generalizing that all Ghanaians have no manners. Maybe I’m just overly sensitive, but some of my personal experiences have left me feeling disheartened.