Come One, Come All!

"Every age, every culture, every custom and tradition has its own character, its own weakness and its own strength, its beauties and cruelties; it accepts certain sufferings as matters of course, puts up patiently with certain evils…” -- Herman Hesse

As obvious as it is, I didn’t really think about life like this until my friend Amy S. brought it up: there is a great difference between loneliness and being alone. Loneliness is generally forced, while being alone is at times, somewhat of a choice. About a month ago, I was consumed by the loneliness and I was boo-hooing all over the place. I thought I would have some sort of social life here, but I’ve got nothing really on this college campus. My roommate and I chat occasionally, but this house has some sort of open-door policy that no one really informed me of. Students come and go as they please. One weekend that my roommate was gone she gave a few students keys to the house. I would prefer my home to be my home, not some sort of community center. African culture seems to be much more community based than my private American life where I keep to myself in my apartment and barely speak to any of the neighbors. Everyone talks to everyone here, which seems appropriate to me within a town or community. But on a college campus for all of the students to be “friends” with the professors seems like a bit much. So, when students are at the house, and engaged in any sort of conversation with my roommate, it’s all in Twi. I therefore sit there clueless. The same happens in the staff room. If I have a specific question or topic to discuss with someone, then they will speak to me in English, but outside of that, not many people seem to care to include me in conversations. The feeling of loneliness is only heightened when I am in the physical presence of people who make absolutely no effort to connect with me. Thankfully, with time, I am beginning to accept these situations as they are. The majority of the conversations I engage in here at this college will last twenty seconds, and that is just how it’s going to be. Twi will be the primary language spoken in my kitchen while I’m there, and again, that is just life. So, turns out, I’m much happier when I completely avoid these uncomfortable circumstances and just do my own thing.

I’m finding myself enjoying my alone time again, as I did when living in Chicago. Depression clouded my mind when I arrived here and I was clinging to anything and anyone for companionship because I felt lost and confused about my new world. Thankfully, that feeling has generally passed. Of course I miss my people, but at last, I am settling into a normal life routine again, rather than sleeping for obscene amounts of hours or just laying around lifeless. I’m working out again, in addition to my 4am occasional jogs, which boosts my energy. I’m painting, reading, perusing the web, writing, watching movies, and enjoying having the time to enjoy such leisure activities. It’s also nice to have things to look forward to such as the visitor I have coming in a few short weeks. Ms. Jenny Andrews, fellow teacher at Bronzeville last year, will make her first journey to the motherland. Hooray! I will also see a few other friends in the next month, and at the end of February I’m off to Kenya! It feels good to be on the upswing now.

Coming to terms with life here has been all about accepting and understanding that there is absolutely nothing I can do about anything. Just because I showed up here doesn’t mean these people are going to change their ways because of me or my opinions. The priorities around here are, #1 – religion, #2 – sports, #3 – education. For example, yesterday I was supposed to lead a workshop for the college staff and I had to reschedule it because of sports. Also, no classes Friday because of more sports. I think it’s wack, but who am I? Oh yea, just a random obruni who dropped in on the motherland trying to impart some sort of knowledge. Life in Ghana will continue on as is and I just have to fit myself into it somehow. In all honesty, I’m glad I’m here, but come June, home sweet home will taste so very sweet.

Here is the reason that classes were cancelled yesterday afternoon and today.