Please and Thank You

“Your true traveler finds boredom rather agreeable than painful. It is the symbol of his liberty-his excessive freedom. He accepts his boredom, when it comes, not merely philosophically, but almost with pleasure.” – Aldous Huxley

Nearly one month after arrival at my college in Bechem, I am finally settled in to my permanent accommodation. It felt amazing to remove items from my suitcases. Made it feel like I’m actually

stickin’ around for a while. I am sharing a house with an English teacher, Millicent, and her husband, Paul. They have one half of the place, and I get the other half. The kitchen is shared as well as the clothing lines in the back. Though the kitchen isn’t necessarily my favorite room in any house, I finally acquired some cooking materials this past weekend to be able to make myself some meals when needed. I’m still going to take full advantage of the staff common room each morning and afternoon for breakfast and lunch. Restaurants are not easy to come by, especially in small towns such as the one I’m living in. With the cost of food being so low, most people prepare their own meals each day. Africans are the polar opposite of lazy. The cooking, the washing clothes, the carrying goods on heads. It’s tough and not for the faint of heart.

Yesterday evening I was

invited by Madam Lizzy, an English teacher here at the school and some sort of administrator as well, to her bungalow for dinner. A pleasantly mild beef stew with rice, noodles, and fruit juice to drink. This was my first invitation for dinner and it was simply lovely. Though she fed me and fed me and fed me and fed me. I’m not exaggerating people. I ate three times as much as I normally would, because she kept eating and then refilled my plate and I wasn’t sure if saying I was full would be rude or not. I left feeling “very heavy”, which is what some say here in lieu of “I’m full”.

Each day, I am still blown away by the hospitality provided by Ghanaians. Every item I have was moved from my old place to the new place. I didn’t have to lift a finger. Upon arrival in my new house, Millicent immediately informed me that several female students would be glad to take care of washing some of my things. I am repeatedly asked throughout a day if I am ok. Even while eating at Madam Lizzy’s house, I felt like the majority of her attention was devoted to ensuring that I was satisfied and tended to. Sure, she ate too, but her focus was clearly on me. Over the years, in conjunction with my perpetual single status, I have become completely self-sufficient. I rarely ask for help from people and I just get done what needs to get done on my own. Here however, without even asking, concern and generosity is constantly shot in my direction. It’s slightly unsettling, but I more than appreciate it all.

However, one man, who just happens to be the manager of the resource center, seems to care a little less about how I’m doing and a little more about what sorts of tasks I can complete for him. Last Friday he told me, not asked me, to type some random letter for him. Today, again rather than politely asking, he commanded me to go to the resource center and fix the printer. Then, at 3:45pm, when 4 out of the 40-something students that were supposed to come to class showed up, I headed towards the principal’s office to discuss the concerns I have with the schedule and attendance. Again, lovely Mr. E happened to be near the office and firmly insisted that I do not tell the principal about the situation, because he would take care of it. Then he asked me if I was worried and with a snide undertone referenced my being American, as if that has anything to do with the fact that the schedule I have been given sucks. Call me crazy, but I am a proud member of the “please” and “thank you” club. However, the expectation here is that younger people do as their elders say without question, without pleases or thank yous. I was sitting outside with the teacher I’m sharing a house with, and we just remained seated while this woman commanded several girls to wash, sweep the floor, fetch a table. Then, one was reprimanded for not greeting me when she arrived. I get that it’s a cultural thing, but I don’t like it. It just feels wrong to sit there and have these young girls fawn over my needs, when I am perfectly capable of doing it all myself.

Finished another 4am jog/walk with the Matron this morning. The P.E. teacher and the Peace Corps volunteer, Sam joined as well. He is training with the soccer team, and the P.E. teacher’s expectation is that they run every morning! These people aren’t playin’ around. Especially when it comes to soccer.